Now, if you grammar pedants haven’t noticed, I haven’t used “clichéd” as it ought to be. Don’t ask me why; consider it the exertion of my so-called “free will”. Why have I begun to write this blog? Again, you won’t get an explicit answer. I just felt like doing so. If you fancy fancy words, call it the oozing out of my existential fluid. It’s all figurative, you pervert! If you’re here at some odd hour of the night, navigating through endless pages of the virtual sea known as the internet, I won’t blame you for being here. That is what this world has come to. I am 20 years old, and as I type endlessly on this keyboard, listening to songs on my headphones as any teenager would, I am going through a phase of life filled with anxiety. Yeah, yeah, you got that right. Same old, same old; the typical teenager who’s stuck in the transition from his teenage years nearing an end to the professional world in which one is valued for their skills. I know that I am oblivious (irony?) to the passage of time that I’ll probably whine about later on, but, oh well, what can I say. This is, in all probability, the worst introduction to any blog, leave alone this article. It’s just a scratch pad for the pink jelly apparently filled with grey stuff placed cozily in that chamber. It’s just a means to vent my frustration and/or anxiety about the world in general, and a release from the constant mosh pit of thoughts and emotions that keeps me going (nowhere?) every day.
So, why write a page full of utter balderdash? I have come to realize that the more often you pen down your thoughts, the easier you will be in terms of peace of mind. It’s like a saucer to your overflowing cup of brainy tea. It need not be a well-crafted, well-worded masterpiece such as Catch-22. Boy, I sure love that novel! A verbal piece of art, and what hilarity! Tut-tut! We’re digressing here; let me continue my article on waywardness. I’m not trying to be cheesy here by saying that this is a perfect example of all that this blog is about. Probably I did turn it into one, though. Anyway, let me continue. Where was I? Oh, right, the existential crisis that some, if not most, people of my age may be going through right now. It is something that has been bothering me for quite a while, and though it feels good to find kindred spirits going through such a phase, it also makes me feel helpless all the same. It’s as though there’s no onewho can help us (no, not exactly our parents because The Times They Are A-Changin’) and take us out of this quagmire but our own selves. The issue then arises of all the others who have their life path (be it personal, career, or whatever) set in stone. They’re probably those high-achievers, straight Aers who’ve always competed against their peers just to get to that golden digit, not discovering things around them that warrant loads of discussion, thanks to the endless rut of examinations and other academic hurdles. Man, some people can never be at ease.
Am I at ease? Haha, if you’re smart enough, which you definitely (if not presumably) are, you’d wonder why the heck I am writing this article if I were. Hell no, I ain’t at ease! I am, as I said in the preceding paragraphs, like millions of other teenagers in the world, at loggerheads with conceptions of my own ‘selves,’ one being the supposedly rational, all-abiding sane human that is, and the other being the inner, nihilistic, existentially questionable combination of chemicals and synapses in the jelly up there. I have been raised as a ‘good’ kid, taught good habits and manners since childhood, haven’t had any rough treatment in any way, and have never been exposed to the perceived ‘bad’ elements that exist in the world. But do I see myself growing up to become a person having even the slightest semblance to the kid that I was in childhood? Perhaps not. I believe it is the case with scores of youths out there, clearly exemplified by the statistics of drug and alcohol abuse and instances of violence. So why are we taught things that delude us into thinking so rosily about the big bad world out there? Why not teach Darwinian principles to children, albeit in a toned down form, so that at least they get a fairly realistic view of the world from a very young age? Why wait till they attain puberty and realize that the abstract world around them is completely different from what they imagined back in the gleeful days of kindergarten? I simply don’t get it. If we’re taught that happiness is something that we must get and try our best so that people around us get too, why does money come into the picture and make people greedy and ruthless? Well, that’s for sometime later, as I believe an article of this word length should be sufficient for a first post on what I believe will be a perennially sporadic blog, or at least I hope so. I just hope this article doesn’t remain the only one on this blog, or else my ambitions as being an online excretor (don’t know if such a word even exists) will be dashed. I will have to stay stuck in the WC, endlessly waiting for ‘release.’
If you’re still reading this, well, congratulations! You get a virtual cookie (geddit?). This is just a peek into what I am thinking about at this hour of the night. I have always wanted to write something on the WWW, because I love to read books, and besides, it’s the “it” thing nowadays and everyone’s into writing.
Actually, no. The WordPress layout is very attractive.
No, this isn’t an attempt to make myself sound witty or hilarious. Haha. I am being over-smart here. But free speech. Seriously, the WP layout is catchy.